Accept the (small amount of) pain in advance

The reason things are so difficult is because you’re flinching. 

In 2024, I completed my first full marathon. I didn’t run for five weeks after that. The thought of going for a jog, with the memory of severe pain and soreness still in my mind, was too much. 

At the end of 2023, I got burned out on producing. A few stressful projects in a row left me feeling overwhelmed by the idea of dealing with clients and crew, and I didn’t work on a major production for four months. 

In high school, I played a lot of soccer. Whenever the ball gets loose from an opponent, my coach would yell, ”go attack that ball!” Whenever I did, my opponent converged on the ball at the same time. To avoid a the pain of a collision, I turned my shoulder away as we collided. Most of the time, my opponent ended up with the ball, and I ended up on the ground.

The philosopher Seneca once said, “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” 

In each of the cases I described above, that statement is strikingly true. If we can accept what is usually a small amount of pain in advance, it frees us up to enjoy the experience 

Eventually, I learned to stand up straight as I chased down the soccer ball. By keeping my eyes on the ball, and a strong shoulder as I ran through it, I was able to knock back my opponent and win the ball. Yes, it hurt a little, but the force of my momentum kept me from falling down. The reward of winning the ball made it worth it. 

Eventually, I got back to producing commercials. “This job is stressful,” I told myself. “But if you can accept the stressful and annoying parts in advance, you might actually enjoy yourself.” I worked on three great projects in a row with clients I came to like a lot. 

Eventually, I did get out and run again. “The first mile always sucks,” I said to myself. I pushed through it and felt great. Yes, it hurt a little, but only for the first mile. I got back to my regular running routine, and racked up more than 500 miles on the year.

When we try to avoid even a small amount of pain, we spend less time in the moment, because we’re constantly on the lookout for things that might hurt. We tense up as we walk through totally harmless experiences, flinching because they might hurt us. Oh—and the pain still finds us either way. 

Say to yourself, “Yes, this will hurt a little. But it’s worth it. If I can accept the small amount of pain in advance, it will help me be more present, and enjoy the beauty surrounding the pain.”