Persuasion Tool: Cognitive Dissonance

If you want to persuade someone towards your point of view, it’s best to introduce some cognitive dissonance. 

Cognitive dissonance is when what we see and what we believe don’t line up. 

If someone doesn’t hold the same views as us on a political issue (that we believe is a human issue), our gut reaction is to think they must be a bad person. So we lash out, treat them poorly, yell, fire off witty one liners on Twitter. 

But here’s the thing.

They think the same thing about us. 

Our view on a political issue (which they believe is a human issue) doesn’t line up with theirs. So when we lash out, treat them poorly, yell, and fire off witty one liners on Twitter, their view of us as a bad person is solidified. Conversation over. No persuasion is happening here. 

So, ironically, regardless of how you feel about someone, treating them with absolute dignity and respect is the best way to begin persuading them. Because their view of you as a bad person is shattered! Previously they thought all people with your beliefs were bad people, but now they know someone who thinks like you do and is actually a kind person. The cognitive dissonance rings in their ears, forcing them to dig deeper. 

And the conversation continues. 

Plus, I’m willing to bet that at some point during your respectful dialogue and dignified relationship, you’ll realize you like the person sitting across the table from you, and you have a lot more in common than you ever imagined. 

Good luck out there.

PS No real persuasion ever happens on Twitter. Real culture changing work takes place at dinner tables over the course of a few decades.