How to Interpret “Once in a Lifetime Opportunities”
Let’s talk about once in a lifetime opportunities. How many times has someone offered you one? How many times have you wondered if what you missed out on was one? How many times has one appeared more than once? Let’s talk about once in a lifetime opportunities. Because there’s a lot to unpack here.
For starters, I’m developing an opinion that people usually use the phrase “once in a lifetime opportunity” to convince themselves, or others, to do something they don’t want to do. People use this phrase to increase perceived scarcity so they can make something more appealing. My first little riff here is to watch out for people who use this phrase liberally. How many times can someone realistically offer a once in a lifetime opportunity? Statistically speaking, not many. It might just be a cliche persuasion tactic.
To play devil’s advocate with my previous paragraph, however, there are “once in a lifetime opportunities” we experience every single day. There are thousands of moments that will never come back around again, and we let them pass by without a care. Playing golf with my buddy at 2 pm on July 7th, 2019 was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And I didn’t do it. Who knows? I could have hit a hole-in-one that day. We could have crashed the golf cart and died. No one knows and no one will ever know. My point here, is that feeling a fear of missing out for letting ”once in a lifetime opportunities” pass by is foolish. You do it every day with every choice you make. Some opportunities may be more advantageous than others, and should be considered more thoughtfully, but don’t make a snap decision in the name of a “once in a lifetime opportunity”.
The longer I live, the more I consider the circularity of life. I’ve seen time as a linear paradigm, where opportunities are pathways that I can either choose to follow or pass by. Once I pass them by, they are gone forever. But in many Asian cultures, time is viewed as a circular paradigm. Opportunities come and go and then come back around again. Generations live, work, have children, die, and then do it all again. I’ve been fascinated by the many pitches I’ve put out for work that have been denied or ghosted. Then, 6, or 9, or 12 moths later, the opportunity comes back around again. The seed was planted, I circled the garden, and returned to find a tree had grown.
When negotiating with people who offer you a “once in a lifetime opportunity”, the best move may actually be to let it pass by. If you really are indispensable, or the best option, they’ll offer you the opportunity again. Maybe even a little better this time. I’ve received higher rates in gigs I’ve taken bye first saying no. It might take 5 months or 5 minutes, but in all likelihood, the opportunity will come back around even after you say no.
My final thought is this: if you have a great opportunity to do something you’ve always dreamt of doing, you should take it. We often don’t because of the expectation placed on us, the things we have to rearrange, or the fear of the unknown. We think we must give up our current life to take new opportunities. This is not true. In my own life, 95 times out of 100, I can have both. Maybe my original life won’t look exactly the same. Maybe I’ll have to give up watching TV, or spend less money eating out, or communicate these changes to my friends or significant other. But in most cases, I can have both.
I hope you find my musings helpful. Good luck with your decisions.
P.S. If you’re interested in reading more about different cultural interpretations of time, check out this awesome article by Richard Lewis on Business Insider.
